MY FIRST CHEMO TREATMENT
By Rhonda Chaikin
Oh I wish I had this day on video tape it was so outrageous. The morning of, a
dear friend arrived to take me to my appointment. Coming from the South Bay, she
was running behind and rushed into the bathroom upon arrival, chattering all the
while about her babysitter being late. "SO WHAT! I'm having CHEMO today. Let's
GO!" The suspense was killing me.
As we prepared to leave, she surveyed, with incredulity, the piles of STUFF I
insisted on schlepping with me, including, but not limited to:
- 4 regular-sized
pillows for back support
- my trusty little "snake" pillow to support my neck
- 2
small pillows to support my elbows
- a bag chocked full of goodies including:
-
video tapes
-
the children's game Candyland
(which I love)
-
playing cards
-
food
-
bottled water
-
gum
-
candy (in case the drugs left a foul taste in my mouth)
- reading material
- my (not so small) Boombox with several
soothing CD's in tow.
Hey - don't laugh!! I had absolutely no idea what I was in
for that day and was determined to have my creature comforts with me. Besides,
the absurdity of it all added some levity to an otherwise scary, tense and
potentially unpleasant experience. We packed up the car and off we went. In
hindsight, never again the boombox - enough is enough!!!
We arrived at the Cancer Center and eyes popped out of their heads as the staff
watched us bring in our haul. (Giggle, giggle!) I know, I'm crazy but tough. My
friend even had to make a second trip back to the car just to get the bloody
boombox!
Once inside, we were immediately ushered into my private treatment
room. Oh what service!! After dumping all my gear in the room, we headed to a
separate room where my dear oncology nurse would access my port-a-cath for a
blood draw and prepare it for hook-up to the I.V. stand and the cheeeemmmooo
drugs. Oh God - this is awful. I just can't believe this is happening to me.
Accessing the port was a ritual in and of itself including a whole prescribed
sterilization process. Once completed, I prepared myself for the inevitable.
"All right, Rhonda, we're ready to insert the needle." "OH NO!" "Ok - on the
count of three." "ONE" (deep breath) "TWO" (deeper breath) "THREEEE - OOOWWW -
that hurt." "Good girl!! You did it!" Oh God this sucks!
Back in my treatment room, I settled into bed, pillows and all. A very nice
volunteer came around to see if I wanted heated blankies. "You bet!!" I met my
primary treatment nurse (another gem) who explained exactly what would happen
that day.
As I already knew, my drugs du jour would be the lovely Taxol and
Carboplatin. Initially, though, I would be treated to the ever delightful
Benadryl (in case of an allergic reaction to the Taxol) which would make me very
drousy (she wasn't kidding), and a few other goodies including anti-nausea
drugs.
Taxol, a 3-hour process, would be administered first. Carboplatin, a 45-minute
process, would follow. And topping off my day would be a few other drugs
including a flushing solution and more anti-nausea medication, bringing my total
time at Spa Cancer Center to 5-6 hours.
All of this was totally surreal to me.
Ok - enough waiting. Let's get the show on the road. Bags containing the drugs
were hooked up to the portable I.V. stand - drugs on wheels! The line from the
bag containing Benedryl was hooked up to my cath and away we went. Oh God it had
started.
Well - within about a minute of receiving Benadryl, I was in la la land. People
in the room were talking to me and I could barely respond or keep my eyes open.
They laughed - very funny!! "Hey - you try it!" Eventually Taxol was hooked up
and set for a 3-hour drip.
Holy cow! I couldn't imagine what it would feel like to get chemo. Would I feel
the drugs coming into my system, possibly burning as they went in? Would they
create a foul taste in my mouth? I had no idea.
As it turned out, with each
chemo treatment (6 in all), I rarely felt anything going through my veins or a
foul taste in my mouth. Actually, Benadryl was always the worst part of the
experience. I don't like being out of it and that drug did me in.
Finally coming out of my Benadryl stupor, I had to entertain myself for another
four plus hours. My friend had left to run a bunch of errands and I was finally
alone - ah quiet!
Even though I had brought all of this STUFF with which to busy
myself, I just couldn't get into doing anything except rest and listen to some
meditative music I had brought. Pre-made sandwiches, jello, ginger-ale and the
like were offered but I had brought my own delicatessen. Thanks anyway.
The drugs made me extremely thirsty and I drank copious amounts of water which
meant numerous pottie visits throughout the day. Well, let me tell you - going
to the bathroom was an experience in itself.
First, I had to get out of the bed,
which with my "pillow city" strategically in place, was nothing short of an
ordeal. Once out of bed, I had to navigate about 5-6 feet to get to the toilet.
Since I was hooked up through the cath to the portable I.V. stand, with all of
these lines coming out of it, I had to wheel the stand along with me, like a dog
on a leash, taking care not to get the lines tangled or the power cord caught
under the wheels.
Once in the john, I couldn't even close the door all the way because the power
cord to the I.V. stand wasn't long enough. I didn't care! Ahhhh - relief at
last!! Sitting on the pottie I'm thinking, all of this is just too outrageous
for words.
I even looked at myself in the mirror just to see what I looked like
with CHEMO being pumped into me. Surreal. At least at that point I still had all
my hair, eyebrows, eyelashes and facial hair!!! (but not for long!)
As the day wore on, my nurse came in to give me anti-nausea drugs to take home.
"I want you to take this one every 4 hours. Take that one every 12 hours." "Wait
a minute - I'm 47. I have to write all this down. Now what did you say???"
Approximately 6 hours after it all began, the drugs were finished. The cath was
flushed out and treatment number one was over. I had made it through this first
session and was finally freed from the blasted I.V. drip.
My friend had returned
and we packed up my department store and got out of there. Thanks to the
anti-nausea drug I had taken, I was completely out of it during the more than
one-hour drive to my friend's home where I would be staying.
Amazingly, all I wanted to eat was take-out Chinese food! We stopped and somehow
I managed to stagger into the restaurant with her, order and pay for the food. I
couldn't believe how out of it I was. What was even more unbelievable was that I
had just had chemotherapy. The whole experience seemed like a Fellini movie to
me. Five years later, it still does.
Ms. Chaikin was diagnosed in early 2000 with ovarian cancer following a routine
operation to remove uterine fibroids. The cancer, found at an optimum time, was
contained to one ovary and had not spread. Due to the aggressive nature of
ovarian cancer, she underwent 6 chemotherapy treatments at the Alta Bates Cancer
Center, completing her last one in June 2000. She is currently writing a book
about the experience.
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